Found this one while cleaning out some old posts….never published this one, hope you enjoy 😉
Since returning to my natural roots (at this time I was 1yr and 5 months ish) I’ve heard (or at least have paid attention to) A LOT of comments and questions about natural hair and/or hair in general.
This morning (thanx to Natural Hair Rules!!!) I watched CharyJay’s hilarious video entitled “Sh*t Relaxed Girls Say to Natural Girls” and she was on point!
The comment I hear the most is that I am brave. In one sense –I get it. I understand why someone would say that I am brave to be wearing this type of hair in this type of society. But let’s be real…..I am not doing ANYTHING extraordinary. I am not facing danger or pain. I am not doing something courageous. I am just being me.
I would rather save the praise of bravery for those who actually deserve it!
It says a lot about a society when being you is considered brave.
When I ask in return “why am I brave?” the responses I receive are that the observer “could never do that” or that their “hair is too rough” or “won’t curl” or “it won’t look good on them” etc. But have these ladies given themselves a good shot?…..meaning a long period of time to test their un-based theories. Maybe then they would realize that it’s not bravery that keeps me natural…..it’s being content with self that does it for me.
When you place your time and effort on something valuable and attainable-it will happen!
So another comment that gets to me…..”What’s the big deal with going natural, it’s just hair”. Majority of the time this comment comes from those without natural hair. Well, I find it puzzling that natural haired beauties are asked “what’s the big deal?” when we are the ones not doing ANYTHING to our hair except proper maintenance.
Does proper maintenance require the forums of blogs, vloggers, meet-up groups and certain ingredients?-YES. If the information was readily available maybe it wouldn’t be required in this forum or if we could find unconditional support and information from our community and society at large, maybe this focus would not be as profound or trendy (BTW, is it still a trend, or are most black women going for the Kardashian look again?) . But the way that society stands now….we need this focus to happen. We need to break this trend of chemically straightening (therefore permanently straightening) our hair or we need to at least present an alternative.
I find that the regimen I had to maintain in order to have chemically treated hair was a big f*c*ing deal! First of all…..if it’s just hair why was I putting a product in my hair that could literally burn my scalp (and did)? Why did I continue to apply it even after experiencing the scalp burns, or ear burns or hair loss or use the heat tools to achieve a curl? Really…..our natural hair has more curl than any curling iron could ever give me. If it’s just hair and not a big deal, why did I spend a fortune going to salons and buying products that did nothing for the health of my hair but only the appearance?
To conclude, to each her own and I respect that, but stop asking what the big deal is for natural haired women…..what has actually happened is that natural haired women have STOPPED making a big deal over our hair and have just accepted it. All we are trying to do is provide an outlet for those who seek the alternative….who seek themselves!
So to the ladies who do not embrace their natural texture, I ask WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL, IT’S JUST HAIR? right?
end scene….. 😉